Team Player

 Gracie is a member of a basketball team that has been together for three years, now.  They have wonderful coaches that have taught these girls how to play as a team.  Gracie hasn't always played the same position, and likes some better than others.  But, she has learned a lot about the different roles you play on a team.  I took these pictures of her game a couple of weeks ago and learned my own lesson, with the help of my Heavenly Father, while I looked at them.

 Benjamin was diagnosed with a genetic chromosomal deletion that will require a lifetime of therapy, a lot of money, and many more doctor visits/testing.  I have allowed researching this condition, called 22q11 Deletion Syndrome, to take over my whole being!  I have a tendency to obsess, and boy have I ever.  This has been a huge adjustment for Rob and I.  Our marriage has been stretched and tried, a bit.  I have spent a night or two on the couch, because of my own frustration, and we have soldiered on.  We love each other, we are really great friends, and we have generally had an extremely easy time resolving any differences.  This has been a new kind of stress, and we are learning a lot.  

One, It is okay that Rob is not me.  This may seem reallllly obvious to you, but this concept has been a major struggle for me!  I have time to read, study, make appointments, and attend said appointments because Rob works hard providing for us.  He and I agreed together that it was important for me to be a full time Mother. I am truly thankful that I am able to be here for our children.

Two, he is doing his best in his position on our family team, and he has his own set of worries.  He is focused on how to pay for all of the therapies, tests, and materials required to help Ben develop.  He is worried about how Ben will be able to find an occupation that will allow him to provide for his own family, with his unique limitations.  I hadn't even thought of that!! I am so thankful for his special perspective.

Three, together we make the perfect team. I am playing my position and Rob is playing his, and that is how God intended it.  I am thankful for his honesty, his listening ear, and his patience.  Heaven knows he is going to need it. 

Gracie has shown herself to be a phenomenal team player and hopefully Robert and I can learn from her example. Life is long, there is so much to learn. I am so grateful for our team, it is my favorite.

Thank You Daddy!

 When Gracie was younger than Benjamin she lovvvved cartoons.  On a good day, she would be snuggling with Robert on the couch as he flipped through the channels in search of some athletic event or another.  Every time he would pass a channel with cartoons, she would hurriedly and loudly proclaim "Thank You Daddy!", in an effort to con him into stopping there.  It worked sometimes and he gave up on his desire for sports for a moment and searched with Dora, for his little lady.  He is a tender hearted Father, which his fairly rough exterior would never give away. 

On Sunday morning I noticed this.  He was smiling while he dressed our wiggly and non communicative three year old baby.  I ran to the closet to grab my camera. Can this make him happy?  The world would have me believe that he couldn't possibly find happiness here, in our messy house, swimming in children and mundane tasks.  Sometimes we watch You Tube clips of dare devils swinging from the arch in Southeast Utah, or cliff diving in Lake Powell, or snowboarders traveling the world chasing the snow and good times.  I feel a tinge of guilt, wishing he could go do those things, instead of work long, cold, and physically strenuous hours to support his family.  Happiness can be found in all that You Tube fun, but not lasting joy.  Those videos could almost make you feel like being carefree and fun is the only way to have a rewarding life and be a real guy.  The world would like to convince our sons and our husbands that they have to be ripped, rich, or famous to be desirable.  I believe that the world's idea of a worthwhile man is the direct opposite of mine.  

And I say, Thank You Daddy for defining that real man for me.  Thank you for working when you are tired, sick, and spent.  Thank you for listening to me complain about being a full time mother, when everything you do is so that I can be here.  Thank you for taking joy in our children and sharing that with me.  Thank you for using your limited free time to attend basketball games, football games, dance recitals, piano recitals, and school programs.  Thank you for doing dishes, when you would rather be watching ESPN and relaxing.  Thank you for being a shoulder to cry on when I am stressed, depressed, anxiety ridden, and losing my sanity.  Thank you for telling me what a great Mother I am, even though you see the absolute worst of me.  Thank you for being a friend.  Thank you for kissing hurt knees better, listening to teenage angst, playing Mario Cart, and paying attention to stories that seem to last an eternity at times!  Thank you for your patience and long suffering.  Thank you for challenging our children to read The Book of Mormon, teaching them to work hard, and having high expectations of them.  Thank you for your tenderness when they don't meet those expectations.  Thank you for trying again when you make mistakes and being willing to talk about everything.  Thank You Daddy!  

The world would have us believe that this is not enough.  They are wrong.  This is everything.  Thank you to all the Fathers that recognize that.  There is great beauty in watching a man with his children!  I know I love watching it, enough to want to record it.  This is what will provide joy and lasting happiness, these moments, these relationships.  Family is everything.  

Thank You Daddy, We love you!!

If wishes were fishes...

 I wish we were skiing today, instead we are trying to implement a new job system and Rob is at work.  It is much less fun than skiing.  My kids all react so differently to responsibility.  There is one who immediately gets his jobs done, but forgets to look at his list in a thorough way and has to be reminded that he is not done after all.  There is one who is sick and conveniently gets out of most of it.  There is one that is too young to do much, and there is one that is so very responsible everywhere but our home!  She puts off the jobs until the very last second possible.  How can four children born of two people be so profoundly different?  The variation of humans in our home is staggering and a little discouraging for this tired, too tired to ride them enough, Mom.  I think when Heavenly Father commanded us to pray always he was talking to me, so I could survive motherhood. No joke.

On a positive note, I get to have a personality like this one in my home and heart.  Priceless, I tell you, priceless.