3/14/12

Donal Burton Lowe Jr.

 This handsome devil is my father, Donal Burton Lowe Jr., he died on Feb. 29th.
It was just a routine hip surgery that led to a blood clot that ended his life far too soon.  There are only two positive things about his passing.  One, he finally is spending time with the father he never knew.  This picture is the only one of he and his father who passed away a mere 4 months after it was taken.  My Dad was a year and a month old when his father unexpectedly left this life.  It was a great sadness in my father's life.  I am happy that he now can enjoy his own dad like we enjoyed him.
 Second, he is no longer in pain.  He wasn't much of a complainer when it came to how much pain his hip caused him, but I often saw him flinch or limp.  He was so graceful and athletic.  I'm sure he is enjoying the movement without aches and pain.  (He taught himself how to play tennis and then worked so hard; that, combined with extreme levels of natural grace and talent got him a full ride scholarship for BYU and he played tennis all thru college)  We talked about it a lot this last couple weeks...watching him play tennis was like watching a dancer moving across a stage.  He was truly gifted.  Nicalee said it best at the funeral, we were raised by celebrities...they are both astronomically talented in their field and highly motivated.
 He was a very involved father, reading his journals showed me that!  He knew everything that was going on with us.  He was a tease and a tickler.  Everything was a game to him, like putting pillow cases on pillows :)  He was a lot of fun.
 He was the person in my life, growing up, that made me feel accepted and loved.  He liked me for who I was.  He was a good friend to me.  He helped me to relax and be myself.  I wasn't always as accepting of him, but he let it go.  He was a rare man.
 His unfailing testimony of the Savior Jesus Christ was the foundation on which I built my own testimony.  He always wanted to see the Garden Tomb and walk where Jesus walked...it's wonderful that he had the time to do it with his favorite companion, Mom.  He taught me the gospel and gave me a passion for the scriptures.  What he gave me has given me strength for many trials including the loss of him.
 The greatest sadness of it all is the separation that they both have to endure for a time.  My Mom and Dad have been through many difficult times and emerged better and closer friends.
 And so, I went from leaving my house thinking that my Dad had fainted, to halfway down the canyon and discovering that he was gone.  The rest of the drive to Alta View to see him was a mix of yelling, sobbing, and praying.  I wouldn't believe it until I saw him.  When I did, it seemed as if life stopped.  I couldn't understand why I still had to change Ben's bum or felt hungry.  Why were people still driving around the roads?  Didn't they know that life had ended as we knew it?  It was beyond description for how surreal it was.
 And so we buried my Dad.  My husband, brother, uncles, and brother in laws carried his casket to his final resting place.  And, I still can't believe it.  I feel like I will be in shock for a long time.
 Rob dedicated his grave and I was so thankful for the promises he made.  I feel so much comfort from his own sorrow.  He loved him and it means everything to me.  We listened to a bagpipe play and cried, we released balloons, said goodbye Grandpa (he was the best) and cried. 
 I watched our kids sorrow and felt robbed for them.  He will miss so many things to come.
 I was thankful for Rob's parents and brothers that came to support our family.  Family is everything, it has never been more apparent to me than it is now.
 My Dad was so diligent to stay in touch with all of his cousins and relatives, he hungered for that family connection.  His brother is the last living member of their family.  This is his brother Bill and I.
 I feel so much gratitude for the knowledge that Families Are Forever.  I am thankful that I knew it before I felt this extreme need to know it.  It is a truth that has been a balm for my heart.  I miss my Dad and will every day.  I can't wait to put my arms around him and tell him all the things that I want to.  I am so thankful to have my own family at this time.
There is a hole in our family, but we know it will be filled again someday!!
And, like my Father, we still can have fun and enjoy the unique humor that he passed down to all of us...our spouses by association!
This whole experience has brought out the best in everyone.  Love for family, support from our husbands, humor in the midst of sorrow, and resolve to be better people.  Our Dad had so many valuable characteristics that we all seek to emulate.  I have an extensive list.  I hope that I never forget all of the thoughts and feelings that this has inspired.  I want to appreciate my family every day.
Until we see you again Dad...ah ah ah ah ah.  We can't wait to tell him that joke :)

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love him. We were blessed to have him. Sweet post, worthy of Dad!

stephschmidt said...

This was so beautiful. Aren't we so blessed to have fathers?? I hope you're doing ok... you're in my prayers

The Bundy Family said...

OH my goodness Kristine. I am so sorry. I couldn't help but feel a bit of your sorrow as I read through your message. I am so grateful for this gospel and knowing that we can be together again. You will be in my thoughts and prayers and you find peace in the hole that is missing.

Thank you for your sweet message. We have had some changes in our family and I have been having some personal difficulties as we are stretched in every possible way. The nice comment was greatly appreciated.

P.S. As the days go by, you continue to stay beautiful!

Kellie said...

Awww, the tears. It hurts, I can only imagine what you are feeling. This was a beautiful post. So humbling. It isn't fair at all, how does life continue? I don't have all of the answers, but I do pray for your peace and continued comfort. Be strong, mourn whenever you feel like it, love those kids and husband. Stay close to your family and life each other up. I love you. Hang in there!

Kellie said...

*lift- each other up.

oops!

amanda said...

Oh My Goodness Kristine!! I am so sorry. What a hard tragedy. What a loss. There are really no words to take away the pain and I know that but I am so sad for you. I'm sad for your mom. They were so cute together. What a blessing it is to know that families are forever.
I'd love to see you when I come to Utah. We were going to go swimming at your folk's house, my kids would love that. I'm coming June 3-July 5 so there is plenty of time to get together.
Hang in there through these tough weeks!!

BS and the Kids said...

That is one of the sweetest posts ever. What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful man. I am so sorry about your loss. Your strength, testimony and own grace is very apparent through this trial. Thanks for sharing ans reminding us all to hug those around as a little tighter.

Charity said...

Kristine,

When we lost our little Caleb, I resented the advice people would give me, how could they know what I was feeling and going through, phrases "like time will heal" and "it is for the best" etc... were not comforting to me... if I can offer you any words of comfort, it would be that that hole you feel now in your family, will at some point close when you realize that your Dad is still close and near to you and will continue to be so throughout your life...go to the temple often, pray, turn your sorrow over to the Lord and trust that all will someday be made right again...I loved your Dad as well...I saw his testimony and desire to overcome obstacles, what an example he was to me, even though we were still so young...I love you, hang in there and know that the hard days and moments are part of that refiner's fire that we all must travel through...for some of us, it is sooner then we would like. Sending my love.

The Running Kidd said...

What beautiful words Kristine! Your dad was SO amazing and I was LUCKY to have gotten to know him. Losing a parent is one of the hardest things that will ever happen to you and not a day will go by that you don't think of him. I'm certain he is looking down on you and your family and is so proud of the children that he has raised.We love you guys!!!

ps- Kapri and I are brushing up on our Neil Diamond! ;)